"And
do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your
mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of
God" (Romans 12:2).
I
just spent my summer working a housekeeping job at a five star resort and spa in
Muskoka, Ontario. And the degree to which I allowed myself to live in the world
for those 4 months really messed with my head. Obviously I was not keeping myself grounded in God’s Word. I began picking up thought-patterns that enable worldly
thriving.
My
life is about me. I need to do what makes me the happiest. Hang out with
whoever makes me feel great, cultivate whatever lifestyle will benefit me the
most (comfort financially, outlet and recognition for my talents), stand up for
myself and believe myself to be deserving of the best. Find confidence and
respect in sharing my accomplishments. Don’t say or act in ways that will make
people embarrassed by you or dislike you (i.e. do not openly speak and practice
many biblical beliefs... definitely not that you believe yourself and others to
be sinning). Make achieving physical beauty a high priority. Love yourself.
Sometimes
when I think these things they seem perfectly acceptable, normal. Other times I
am absolutely appalled by how deceitfully innocent they seem – how I managed to
miss (unknowingly or otherwise) that they are rooted in selfishness. It’s hard
to acknowledge that what I think is appropriate self-edification is actually
evidence of my sinfulness and rebellion against God. I cannot help but idolize,
protect and promote myself if I want to survive in the world, that is, without completely
surrendering my life’s value to God.
I
want to love. I want to serve others before myself. I want to love God above
all else. These are biblical concepts that I adore and desire. But I have my
evidence from this summer – if I dispose of God it is then necessary for me to
be selfish to survive. I hate my selfishness, but I cannot defeat it simply by
choosing to place others before me... doing so will leave me worthless and crushed.
I need to surrender to the step that I would usually prefer to skip, the step
that I cannot fathom nor achieve in my own efforts, that is to love God above
all else. Die to myself so that it is Christ who lives in me. So that it is
Christ who carries me – life by His confidence, His worth, His power, His
unconditional love – and it is then possible to live according to the good and
acceptable and perfect will of God.
