Leery on Anti-Depressants

I've been thinking more about the Christian view of depression and I am still leery on taking anti-depressants. I'm not convinced that they are an absolute no-no, but neither am I sure of when they should be a yes. I definitely don't think all depression should be medicated because some depression actually has good purpose. Depression drives me towards God. Also, depression is a 'correct' response to the state of our world if we are separated from God. 

But does it come to a point when depression is too powerful and needs to be treated or else it will be impossible for us to abide in Christ? And can we know that point?

Diagnosing Depression

I think that everyone agrees that there is an extreme unknownness in regards to the diagnosis of depression. Its seems to me that a certain amount of depression is normal for people who think deeply and often times it doesn't need to be treated. The symptoms of depression occurring here - hopelessness, fear, worry, worthlessness - are dispelled when the thinker receives renewed faith.

It's necessary to highlight here that my personal experience with depression isn't what people are defining as clinical depression; my depressive seasons have always been lifted as I return to trusting God. The claim is that real, clinical depression is caused by chemical imbalances which disable the ability to control one's thoughts and therefore to have faith.

It seems that the most definitive diagnosis of depression is based on length of time (some say more than two weeks). But this doesn't work for me because I've been bed-ridden for a least a month and have still been able to recover by faith. During the times I've been depressed, I haven't been able to convince myself of anything worthwhile living for (but I wasn't suicidal). I believe that God did (and continues to) free me from hopelessness in response to prayer (and He is the one who enables my faith and my prayer). Praying - choosing to trust God despite not trusting God, begging Him to forgive me and draw me to Him, declaring truth about Him, leaning completely on Him and not at all on myself - brings about a lightness and a freedom that I couldn't think myself into. My experience tells me that God can give me a peace which I can't create or find on my own.

Thought Control and Faith

Anti-depressants are supported by Christian's on the assumption that we must be in control of our thoughts in order to have faith. I realize that reasoning is certainly critical to having faith.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor 10:3-5). 

What I'm not sure about is whether our control of thoughts is necessary to produce faith. What if the ability to bring thoughts into captivity to the obedience of Christ is not ours but God's? What if we don't actually have the the control to bring our thoughts under Christ? Like the weapons we use are God's, not our own. 

Try to follow this. I can't think myself into peace in Christ. I can pray myself into faith in Christ. But, you ask, doesn't praying = thinking? 

I think they might be different. When I pray, I am forming thoughts, but I don't feel in control of them. I mean, when I'm praying I end up thinking thoughts that I couldn't have imagined thinking if I wasn't praying. It feels like I don't know where the thoughts came from or how they managed to come about. I don't know where the strength came from to really think them. 

I know this distinction sounds really contrived and ambiguous. But I think things are tangibly different when I am thinking to God and when I am thinking to myself. When I pray, I receive faith to trust God that I didn't produce. When I'm praying I surrender control of my thoughts to God, and He controls my thoughts, and He produces the faith. 

It makes me think of this: Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered (Romans 8:26). But I'm not positive that this scripture actually applies to what I was just saying... I just know that this scripture is saying something that I should be paying attention to. Requiring further attention...

I'm theorizing that we aren't responsible for our faith, neither for the strength or fruit of our prayers, but it is God working in us to produce what pleases Him. What He accomplishes through us is irrelevant to our strength and ability. 

I've given myself a headache. 
Yet we continue.

Faith as a Gift

As I understand it, faith is something we receive from God, not something that we bring about by our own control. By that understanding, faith should still be possible in depression even if we can't achieve it ourselves. And freedom from depression should be possible by prayer, and if not our own prayer than that of others.

Also, if faith is a gift than the following is also true: Christian's who are taking anti-depressants should not be feeling ashamed because other Christian's are accusing them of lacking faith. All Christians do lack faith. Lacking faith is inevitable based on the reality that we are still in a fallen world and still imperfect. (Also, your faith doesn't belong to you, so your pride shouldn't be injured if you don't have it. You have no right to pride. All of your boasting is in Christ). 

Your shame in lacking faith is the same as your shame in being a sinner. Your faults are real, but you are not supposed to be ashamed of them any longer, because you have repented and been forgiven through the death and resurrection of Christ. The response to guilt for having depression, or for being medically treated for it, is to repent and turn to Christ. That's always the solution. No matter how confusing the situation seems. Just keep on turning to Christ and He will guard you as well as reveal, in time, the way that you should go.  Believe Christ and keep on trying to believe. I know it seems like faulty logic - i.e. how can you believe when you lack faith - but still you must believe unto faith.

Your brain is probably tired by now.

Mine is.

And so we plow on.

An Analogy for Anti-Depressant?

The most convincing Christian argument (in my opinion)  for clinical depression is that it causes a chemical imbalance which will most likely not be resolved by faith but should be medically treated. Similar to how one doesn't refuse glasses on the conviction that by their faith God will heal them from poor vision. These physical aids are chosen because clear vision (thank you glasses) and a clear mind (thank you anti-depressants) are necessary for both intake of God's Word and thought-control - which is in turn, and most importantly, necessary for faith. Glasses and anti-depressants themselves aren't actually healing, but they are God-given tools to enable our physically corrupted bodies to give their full attention to Him. 

A side note: there is still a niggling discomfort in my mind with the line-drawing that occurs at 'chemical imbalance'. Yes it's a physical thing, yet can I cause chemical imbalances in my own brain? When I am hopeless and stay in bed all day, do my negative thoughts change my brain chemistry? (I'm suspicious that they do). So... does there come a point where my brain has been chemically imbalanced for so long that now the chemicals are controlling my thoughts, rather than my thoughts controlling the chemicals? Is it like porn, where I've brought my mind into the habit of feeling a certain way, due to chemicals that I invited in, and now the chemicals have such a hold on me that I can't escape them? That I need medication (I'm still not sure)? Or that I need serious counselling and support (which I heartily approve of)?

Another side note: Christian's who support anti-depressants usually support that anti-depressants are solely giving the individual back the thought-control they once had. Yet there is evidence and opinion which says anti-depressants can alter personality, not returning the patient to their normal but rather being used to create a 'desired' normal. An artificial happiness, or even artificial personality, that wasn't experienced by that person before they were depressed. One example is Peter Kramer's work on Prozac. (I wrote a paper on this "Medicating our Personalities: A Reflection on Anti-Depressants" in my second year philosophy course (contemporary ethical issues). My views in that one are current as of April 2013). 

One of the major issues I see with glasses and anti-depressants is that they appear to give life (the ability to experience earthly life and enjoy it). Christians can begin to assume that they are okay now that they are able to function okay (I think that we all do this and it's natural - sinful - for us to do this). While you were blind or depressed, it was easy to remember that you needed God. Now that you seem fine it's more difficult. Except the glasses and anti-depressants didn't heal you. They gave you an artificial function of being healed. 

You still have poor vision and you are still hopeless. You are still subject to sin if you are not abiding in Christ and living by faith. I maintain that depression has a spiritual cause - that being that we are inherently hopeless and subject to all things evil on our own. We can become depressed while we are Christian's because we still lack faith, we are still imperfect, we still need to be constantly abiding in Christ in order to live. Anti-depressants can successfully treat the physical implications of the spiritual cause (sinfulness and lostness = an unhealthy mind and unhealthy body). But you still are not healed. You still have the most urgent need of abiding in Christ to defeat.

A Semblance of a Conclusion

We must decide whether or not anti-depressants are okay on a case by case basis and always be seeking first and foremost to abide in Christ. 

Anti-depressants can help us gain a healthy mind like exercise can help us gain a healthy body. But a healthy mind doesn't heal us just like a healthy body doesn't heal us. Therefore... exercise yourself toward godliness. For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance (1 Tim 4:7 -9).

DISCLAIMER: I am, of course, still thinking and praying and trying to come to the Truth. All these rambling thoughts are a part of me getting there. Which means, on some points, I'm likely going to disagree with myself later. Also I realize my reasoning becomes difficult to follow at points... sorry about that.