For The Christian Who Reads

An excerpt from the writings of George Mueller:

I fell into the snare into which so many young believers fall - the reading of religious books in preference to the Scriptures. I could no longer read French and German novels, as I had formerly done, to feed my carnal mind, but still I did not replace those books with the best of all books. I read tracts, missionary papers, sermons and biographies of godly persons. This last kind of book I found more profitable than others, and had they been well selected, or had I not read too much of these writings, or had any of them tended particularly to endear the Scriptures to me, they might have done me much good. 

I never had been at any time in my life in the habit of reading the Holy Scriptures. When under fifteen years of age, I occasionally read a little of them at school; afterward God's precious Book was entirely laid aside, so that I never read one single chapter of it, as far as I remember, until it pleased God to begin a work of grace in my heart.

Now the scriptural way of reasoning would have been: God Himself has condescended to become an author, and I am ignorant about His precious book, which His Holy Spirit has caused to be written though the instrumentality of His servants. It contains what I ought to know, and the knowledge which will lead me to true happiness; therefore, I ought to read again and again this most precious Book, this Book of books, most earnestly, most prayerfully, and with much meditation. In this practice I ought to continue all the days of my life.

I was aware, though I had read the Bible but little, that I knew scarcely anything of it.  But instead of acting thus, and being led by my ignorance of the Word of God to study it more, my difficulty in understanding it and the little enjoyment I had in it made me careless in reading it (for much prayerful reading of the Word not merely gives more knowledge, but also increases the delight we have in reading it); and thus, like many believers, I practically preferred, for the first four years of my new life in Christ, the works of uninspired men to the oracles of the living God.

The consequence was that I remained a babe, both in knowledge and in grace. I say in knowledge because all true knowledge must be derived by the Spirit, from the Word. And since I neglected the Word, I was for nearly four years so ignorant that I did not clearly know even the fundamental points of of our holy faith.

This lack of knowledge most sadly kept me back from walking steadily in the ways of God. For it is the truth that makes us free (John 8:32), by delivering us from the slavery of "all that is in the world; the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life" (1 John 2:16). The Word proves it; the experience of the saints proves it; and my own experience also most decidedly proves it. For when it pleased the Lord in August 1829 to bring me to the Scriptures, my life and walk became very different. And though even since that time I have very much fallen short of what I might and ought to be (see Romans 3:23), yet, by the grace of God, I have been enabled to live much nearer to Him than before.

If any believers read these words who prefer other books to the Holy Scriptures, and who enjoy the writings of men much more than the Word of God, may they be warned by my loss. I will consider this book to have been the means of doing much good, if it pleases the Lord through its instrumentality to lead some of His people no longer to neglect the Holy Scriptures, but to give them that preference that they have hitherto given to the writings of men.

My dislike of increasing the number of books available to readers would have been sufficient to deter me from writing these pages if I had not been convinced that this is the only way in which others may be benefited from my mistakes and errors. I was influence by hope that, in answer to my prayers, the reading of my experience may be the means of leading them to value the Scriptures more highly and to make them the standard and guide of all their actions. 

If anyone should ask me how he may read the Scriptures profitably, I would advise Him that above all he should seek to have it settled in his own mind that God alone, by His Spirit, can teach him. Also, since he will be asking God for blessings, it is a beneficial idea to seek God's blessing before reading the Word, as well as during the reading of Scripture.

Moreover, he should have settled in his mind that, although the Holy Spirit is the best and sufficient teacher, this Teacher does not always teach immediately when we desire it, and that, therefore, we may have to ask Him again and again for the explanation of certain passages. But He will surely teach us at last, if indeed we are seeking for light prayerfully, patiently, and with a view to the glory of God.

Also, it is of immense importance for the understanding of the Word of God to read it systematically, so that every day we may read a portion of the Old and a portion of the New Testament, going on where we previously left off. The reasons to read the Bible in a systematic way are as follows:

This method is important because it throws light upon the connection between the Old and the New Testaments; a different method, where one habitually selects favorite chapters, will make it utterly impossible ever to understand much of the Scriptures.

Second, while we are in the body, we need a change, even in spiritual things; and this change the Lord has graciously provided in the great variety that is to be found in His Word.

Third, an orderly reading of the Word honors the glory of God. The leaving out of some chapters here and there is practically saying that certain portions are better than others, or that there are certain parts of revealed truth that are unprofitable or unnecessary.

Next, it may keep us, by the blessing of God, from erroneous views, since in reading regularly through the Scriptures we are led to see the meaning of the whole. We are also kept from placing too much stress upon certain favorite views. 

Fifth, the Scriptures contain the whole revealed will of God; therefore, we ought to seek to read from time to time though the whole of that revealed will. I fear that many believers in our day have no read even once through the whole Scriptures; yet in a few months, by reading only a few chapters every day, they might accomplish it.

It is also of the greatest importance to meditate on what we read, so that perhaps a small portion, or, if we have time, the whole, may be meditated upon in the course of the day. Or a single portion of the book, or an epistle, or a gospel, through which we go regularly for meditation., may be considered every day, without causing one to be brought into bondage by this plan.

I have found scholarly commentaries to store the head with many notions and often also with the truth of God; but when the Spirit teaches, through the instrumentality of prayer and meditation, the heart is affected. The former kind of knowledge generally puffs up (1 Cor 8:1), and is often renounced when another commentary gives a different opinion. It is often also found good for nothing, when it is to be carried out in practice. The latter kind of knowledge generally humbles, gives joy, leads us nearer to God, and is not easily reasoned away. Having been obtained from God, and thus having entered into our hearts, it becomes our own and is also generally carried out.

***

I am guilty of loving Christian biography and preferring it to Scripture. I am guilty of loving head-knowledge (sermons, teachings) and preferring them to Scripture.

I believe I have my own life evidence that attests to the truth of Mueller's words (and the truth of Scripture). During grade twelve I read my bible voraciously, reading the New Testament every morning and the Old Testament each night. I can barely even remember what it was like to have such stamina. My commitment to reading Scripture since then has been abysmal. Yet I believe that year spent deeply soaking in the Word of God was orchestrated and used by God to give me an everlasting acquaintance with His Spirit. Being taught directly by His Spirit was what invited me to truly know Him and that foundational time of truly knowing Him is what makes it possible for me to know Him now. 

I sincerely hope that He will once again draw me, by faith, into deep reading of His Word. Please pray for a commitment to God's Word such as George Mueller described - for myself, for yourselves, and for all who truly desire to know and love Jesus Christ. 

... all this is not to say that you shouldn't read Christian biographies. Read them (Brothers, Read Christian Biography)! Just be watchful that your primary attention is to God's Word.

Leery on Anti-Depressants

I've been thinking more about the Christian view of depression and I am still leery on taking anti-depressants. I'm not convinced that they are an absolute no-no, but neither am I sure of when they should be a yes. I definitely don't think all depression should be medicated because some depression actually has good purpose. Depression drives me towards God. Also, depression is a 'correct' response to the state of our world if we are separated from God. 

But does it come to a point when depression is too powerful and needs to be treated or else it will be impossible for us to abide in Christ? And can we know that point?

Diagnosing Depression

I think that everyone agrees that there is an extreme unknownness in regards to the diagnosis of depression. Its seems to me that a certain amount of depression is normal for people who think deeply and often times it doesn't need to be treated. The symptoms of depression occurring here - hopelessness, fear, worry, worthlessness - are dispelled when the thinker receives renewed faith.

It's necessary to highlight here that my personal experience with depression isn't what people are defining as clinical depression; my depressive seasons have always been lifted as I return to trusting God. The claim is that real, clinical depression is caused by chemical imbalances which disable the ability to control one's thoughts and therefore to have faith.

It seems that the most definitive diagnosis of depression is based on length of time (some say more than two weeks). But this doesn't work for me because I've been bed-ridden for a least a month and have still been able to recover by faith. During the times I've been depressed, I haven't been able to convince myself of anything worthwhile living for (but I wasn't suicidal). I believe that God did (and continues to) free me from hopelessness in response to prayer (and He is the one who enables my faith and my prayer). Praying - choosing to trust God despite not trusting God, begging Him to forgive me and draw me to Him, declaring truth about Him, leaning completely on Him and not at all on myself - brings about a lightness and a freedom that I couldn't think myself into. My experience tells me that God can give me a peace which I can't create or find on my own.

Thought Control and Faith

Anti-depressants are supported by Christian's on the assumption that we must be in control of our thoughts in order to have faith. I realize that reasoning is certainly critical to having faith.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor 10:3-5). 

What I'm not sure about is whether our control of thoughts is necessary to produce faith. What if the ability to bring thoughts into captivity to the obedience of Christ is not ours but God's? What if we don't actually have the the control to bring our thoughts under Christ? Like the weapons we use are God's, not our own. 

Try to follow this. I can't think myself into peace in Christ. I can pray myself into faith in Christ. But, you ask, doesn't praying = thinking? 

I think they might be different. When I pray, I am forming thoughts, but I don't feel in control of them. I mean, when I'm praying I end up thinking thoughts that I couldn't have imagined thinking if I wasn't praying. It feels like I don't know where the thoughts came from or how they managed to come about. I don't know where the strength came from to really think them. 

I know this distinction sounds really contrived and ambiguous. But I think things are tangibly different when I am thinking to God and when I am thinking to myself. When I pray, I receive faith to trust God that I didn't produce. When I'm praying I surrender control of my thoughts to God, and He controls my thoughts, and He produces the faith. 

It makes me think of this: Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered (Romans 8:26). But I'm not positive that this scripture actually applies to what I was just saying... I just know that this scripture is saying something that I should be paying attention to. Requiring further attention...

I'm theorizing that we aren't responsible for our faith, neither for the strength or fruit of our prayers, but it is God working in us to produce what pleases Him. What He accomplishes through us is irrelevant to our strength and ability. 

I've given myself a headache. 
Yet we continue.

Faith as a Gift

As I understand it, faith is something we receive from God, not something that we bring about by our own control. By that understanding, faith should still be possible in depression even if we can't achieve it ourselves. And freedom from depression should be possible by prayer, and if not our own prayer than that of others.

Also, if faith is a gift than the following is also true: Christian's who are taking anti-depressants should not be feeling ashamed because other Christian's are accusing them of lacking faith. All Christians do lack faith. Lacking faith is inevitable based on the reality that we are still in a fallen world and still imperfect. (Also, your faith doesn't belong to you, so your pride shouldn't be injured if you don't have it. You have no right to pride. All of your boasting is in Christ). 

Your shame in lacking faith is the same as your shame in being a sinner. Your faults are real, but you are not supposed to be ashamed of them any longer, because you have repented and been forgiven through the death and resurrection of Christ. The response to guilt for having depression, or for being medically treated for it, is to repent and turn to Christ. That's always the solution. No matter how confusing the situation seems. Just keep on turning to Christ and He will guard you as well as reveal, in time, the way that you should go.  Believe Christ and keep on trying to believe. I know it seems like faulty logic - i.e. how can you believe when you lack faith - but still you must believe unto faith.

Your brain is probably tired by now.

Mine is.

And so we plow on.

An Analogy for Anti-Depressant?

The most convincing Christian argument (in my opinion)  for clinical depression is that it causes a chemical imbalance which will most likely not be resolved by faith but should be medically treated. Similar to how one doesn't refuse glasses on the conviction that by their faith God will heal them from poor vision. These physical aids are chosen because clear vision (thank you glasses) and a clear mind (thank you anti-depressants) are necessary for both intake of God's Word and thought-control - which is in turn, and most importantly, necessary for faith. Glasses and anti-depressants themselves aren't actually healing, but they are God-given tools to enable our physically corrupted bodies to give their full attention to Him. 

A side note: there is still a niggling discomfort in my mind with the line-drawing that occurs at 'chemical imbalance'. Yes it's a physical thing, yet can I cause chemical imbalances in my own brain? When I am hopeless and stay in bed all day, do my negative thoughts change my brain chemistry? (I'm suspicious that they do). So... does there come a point where my brain has been chemically imbalanced for so long that now the chemicals are controlling my thoughts, rather than my thoughts controlling the chemicals? Is it like porn, where I've brought my mind into the habit of feeling a certain way, due to chemicals that I invited in, and now the chemicals have such a hold on me that I can't escape them? That I need medication (I'm still not sure)? Or that I need serious counselling and support (which I heartily approve of)?

Another side note: Christian's who support anti-depressants usually support that anti-depressants are solely giving the individual back the thought-control they once had. Yet there is evidence and opinion which says anti-depressants can alter personality, not returning the patient to their normal but rather being used to create a 'desired' normal. An artificial happiness, or even artificial personality, that wasn't experienced by that person before they were depressed. One example is Peter Kramer's work on Prozac. (I wrote a paper on this "Medicating our Personalities: A Reflection on Anti-Depressants" in my second year philosophy course (contemporary ethical issues). My views in that one are current as of April 2013). 

One of the major issues I see with glasses and anti-depressants is that they appear to give life (the ability to experience earthly life and enjoy it). Christians can begin to assume that they are okay now that they are able to function okay (I think that we all do this and it's natural - sinful - for us to do this). While you were blind or depressed, it was easy to remember that you needed God. Now that you seem fine it's more difficult. Except the glasses and anti-depressants didn't heal you. They gave you an artificial function of being healed. 

You still have poor vision and you are still hopeless. You are still subject to sin if you are not abiding in Christ and living by faith. I maintain that depression has a spiritual cause - that being that we are inherently hopeless and subject to all things evil on our own. We can become depressed while we are Christian's because we still lack faith, we are still imperfect, we still need to be constantly abiding in Christ in order to live. Anti-depressants can successfully treat the physical implications of the spiritual cause (sinfulness and lostness = an unhealthy mind and unhealthy body). But you still are not healed. You still have the most urgent need of abiding in Christ to defeat.

A Semblance of a Conclusion

We must decide whether or not anti-depressants are okay on a case by case basis and always be seeking first and foremost to abide in Christ. 

Anti-depressants can help us gain a healthy mind like exercise can help us gain a healthy body. But a healthy mind doesn't heal us just like a healthy body doesn't heal us. Therefore... exercise yourself toward godliness. For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance (1 Tim 4:7 -9).

DISCLAIMER: I am, of course, still thinking and praying and trying to come to the Truth. All these rambling thoughts are a part of me getting there. Which means, on some points, I'm likely going to disagree with myself later. Also I realize my reasoning becomes difficult to follow at points... sorry about that. 

FISH MONEY

And Jesus is all like: "Nevertheless, lest we offend them, go to the sea, cast in a hook, and take the fish that comes up first. And when you have opened its mouth, you will find a piece of money; take that and give it to them for me and you" (Matt 17:27).

Can you believe this Guy?!

If He can do that, He can do anything. Like read minds and kill fig trees.

And then He goes and says things like "Whatever things you ask for when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them" (Mark 11:24).

No amount of my own reasoning and testing will ever get me to the point where I understand how (forget why) Jesus got money from a fish mouth. 

So, besides the fact that anyone who believes this stuff should stop trying to pretend like they will fit in just fine with the people who don’t (I accuse myself), someone who believes in fish money should be living significantly differently because of it.

Get it through your thick skull. Someone who believes in fish money cannot claim worldly wisdom. Someone who believes in fish money is doomed to appearing foolish (stop trying to avoid it). Someone who believes in fish money is plunged into a second childhood wherein they are utterly naive to the reality in which they now live. And, without hope of figuring anything out for themselves, they have no other choice but trust their Guardian (Mom, Pop..).

And in this analogy it’s not even that simple because your Guardian was a human a lot of years ago. Fortunately, He has sent you all the things He knows you will need in a book. Unfortunately, you think you don’t need to read the book. Ask yourself, what do you understand about fish money? NOTHING. You had better get reading.

The reality is, we live in a reality in which we are dependent on Someone else to survive. And He's told you that in numerous ways (I paraphrase: You NEED to trust me). 

If you want to survive that is. 

I know what’s going down, I know what you need, you don’t even understand fish money. And I know it’s hard for you to trust Me, so I've given you a lot of sentences to keep reminding yourself of, so you will know and remember the truth. I know the truth, and I’m inviting you in on it, and the truth is REALLY great. It’s got all the good stuff like love and forgiveness and joy.

If you want to do right in this world then you need to abide in what I say. Without Me you will become lost and helpless. And you will do unwise things because you cannot see the bigger picture. You will do things that hurt Me, that hurt others, and that hurt yourself... and you will bear the responsibility for that.

“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 18:3).

“So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17).

And Jesus is all like: "Nevertheless, lest we offend them, go to the sea, cast in a hook, and take the fish that comes up first. And when you have opened its mouth, you will find a piece of money; take that and give it to them for me and you" (Matt 17:27).

FISH MONEY!